| To what extent does your stockings fetish dictate your life? |
Sat, 20 October 2007 22:24  |
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This got me thinking, after National Stockings Day, that those with a stockings 'fetish' must have some problems when living in society today, compared with the 1950s when stockings were around just about everywhere and women did not wear the casual attire they adopt now.
So I'm asking, to what extent does your stockings fetish dictate the following:
1. What you go for in a partner.
2. Are you upfront about it - do you say to women you date - 'I love stockings and suspenders - will you wear them for me if we continue to see each other?'
3. Do you insist that your wife/partner wears stockings at home with high heels even although she would prefer more casual attire?
4. Do you make a big deal about it in the bedroom, do you insist to your partner/wife that she wears the stockings so that you are turned on?
5. And finally, do you buy the stockings and suspender belts for her to wear?
I'd be curious to hear about some experiences.
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| Re: To what extent does your stockings fetish dictate your life? |
Sat, 20 October 2007 23:24  |
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Allow me, Mich, to have the privilege of the first reply!
1. Very important, but probably not the first thing I would know about her so, if we dated, for example, and and it became apparent that she was a stocking-wearer, that would be Heavenly. If she was not, then subtle hints would lead in the right direction.
2. I would never be as blatant as the comment provided here. Our relationship would naturally develop, if she were not already a stocking-wearer, naturally in that direction. Within a short time, it would become so obvious to her what my preference was that she would WANT to share that enjoyment.
3. I would never INSIST on anything. But my choice of partner would be someone who naturally, as part of her very being, would want to portray a feminine image, for her own pleasure, even if I was not there. Gents, as I know from experience, such women DO exist - it's just a question of finding and nurturing them!
4. I see little point in "putting on stockings to turn on my man". To me, that would be a total turn-off. Making love to a woman who is wearing the stockings she has worn all day is much more of a turn-on.
5. Yes and no. I have certainly bought suspender belts and stockings for girlfriends, but some had already been confirmed stocking-wearers, so already had an accomplished wardrobe. My last serious relationship was with someone who "dared" me to go into a lingerie shop we were passing to buy her something - her previous boyfriend having chickened out of buying her lingerie for a Birthday, buying her a coffee maker instead! A serious mistake on his part!
M.M.
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| Re: To what extent does your stockings fetish dictate your life? |
Sun, 21 October 2007 00:27 |
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Hi Mich,
I think your question is very much up to date and more than just interesting. I am very much looking forward to read the responses to it.
For me personally its a YES to your questions 2, 3 and 5.
I might get people to argue about the YES on number 3 here but that's how I am.
M.M's view on number 4 is spot on I think. Dressing up for that matter just doesn't do it. She needs to be a "real" wearing lady. For business, for home, for leisure.
Greets
Mac
[Updated on: Sun, 21 October 2007 00:28]
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| Re: To what extent does your stockings fetish dictate your life? |
Sun, 21 October 2007 11:22 |
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Hello everyone. I don't know if this goes all the way to supplying an answer, but it seems to 'fit' in a lot of situations and this might just be one of them.
"Your life is governed by what is truth (whether you believe it or not) but your experience of life is governed by what you believe (whether it is true or not)"
It probably doesn't really help at all, but it has managed to serve as an introduction to the Main Forum!
lacewing.
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| Re: To what extent does your stockings fetish dictate your life? |
Sun, 21 October 2007 13:46 |
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Hi,
1. I encourage partners to wear S&S both in and out of the bedroom. Their willingness (or lack of) would not determine the continuation of a relationship, but I've never been put in the decision where a girlfriend has flatly refused to indulge this passion. That said, a passion for one thing (in this case stockings) can be seen as one facet of a life-view that is built on shared cultural understanding. If S&S represent sensuality, decadence, elegance etc for me, then they probably represent something similar to people with a similar vision of life, and I am therefore more likely to find a bond with a person who is happy to wear. Or I may be talking rubbish here... 
2. Yes, if they don't already wear them.
3. No. Encourage and cajole, but never insist. If one has to insist, then the pleasure is lessened (unless you're in a master/slave relationship of course  )
4. Same answer as above. When I was much younger I did have one girlfriend who began to question whether it was the stockings or her that I liked, which made me question my attitude towards things at the time. Sometimes one can become fixated by an idea and forget that variety is the spice....
5. Usually both my partner and I purchase lingerie and hosiery, sometimes separately, sometimes together. There is a particular pleasure in purchasing an exquisite item (or 3) of underwear and anticipating the moment your loved one will step into the room wearing only those items 
Melmoth
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| Re: To what extent does your stockings fetish dictate your life? |
Sun, 21 October 2007 13:49 |
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This got me thinking, after National Stockings Day, that those with a stockings 'fetish' must have some problems when living in society today, compared with the 1950s when stockings were around just about everywhere and women did not wear the casual attire they adopt now.
Mich, best question I've read on this forum...ever. Probably because I think of this every day. Every day.
So I'm asking, to what extent does your stockings fetish dictate the following:
1. What you go for in a partner.
- I always always always only ever look at a female wearing some sort of nylon nowadays. It means if I am lucky enough to strike up rappport or whatever with them at least I'm at first base with regards to my fetish. I'll try to introduce it to a female not wearing nylon but I've found this a time waster really.
2. Are you upfront about it - do you say to women you date - 'I love stockings and suspenders - will you wear them for me if we continue to see each other?'
- Absolutely yes yes. I say pretty much on the first date etc, - you know if you get on to the what do you like things, - I say straight away I love stockings and suspenders etc. Do you like to dress up like that/ does it make you feel sexy?.
3. Do you insist that your wife/partner wears stockings at home with high heels even although she would prefer more casual attire?
- I actually don't like high heels and love stockings/hold-ups etc with flat shoes or no shoes myself so no here. - But, I asked my first wife often if she would wear her "legs" tonight/today for some loving and although she did wear it was really once a month or so. - Not enough for my sexual satisfaction so the sex life faltered. I felt compelt to look elsewhere for sexual satisfaction which incidentally I've never found ??.
4. Do you make a big deal about it in the bedroom, do you insist to your partner/wife that she wears the stockings so that you are turned on?
- I am capable of achieving erection in most cases without them being present however for me its almost like there's something missing. I'm now of the belief it IS me that has something missing because given the choice of sex in nylons or sex bare skin my balance would be 75/25 definately.
- There is a lady on this forum I read from the North East who wears them to bed every night and I'm like WOW she is such an anomaly but I'd have loved to have known her.
- I recall making a big deal of it to another partner and although she said she liked nylon every time...every time we ended in bed they were never there. When I kept mentioning I thought "Does she HEAR ME". - When your insisting nothing is good about the experience. I only insist once or twice then know the relationships not giving me my side of the bargain.
5. And finally, do you buy the stockings and suspender belts for her to wear?
- I do yes. I've lost count of the times I've bought things for "her to wear" and they're not worn.
I'd be curious to hear about some experiences.
- I would give ANYTHING to go back to the era when stockings were seen differently plus there would be much more of a chance of my sexual urges being satisfied easier. Its true to say for me anyway Mich that I now feel sad at my fetish in a way because it's terrible to be afflicted with something which you spend lots of time chasing but never catch. I realise now that most women don't even correlate sex and stockings but I do know that if I did find someone whom I really fell for I'd do pretty much ANYTHING for them. I'd do whatever I thought would turn us both on/keep things together/ etc /etc.
In all I wish I was one of the guys who just liked girls full stop. I don't think apart from visiting saunas and the like I'd ever get the amount of sex I need with stockings involved.
I've wondered recently if one day I'll wake up and find I'm not interested anymore. FULL STOP. I doubt it though.
Your question mentioned to what extent it dictates my life.
I'm at the stage of visiting places in Eastern Europe now to try to meet a lady. There does seem to be MUCH more of a chance of coming across a decent lady friend who wears daily. Alot of the Polish ladies I've met seem to be brought up wearing nylon whereas in the UK, girls go from the ankle sock to bare legs as soon as possible. I hate that.
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| Re: To what extent does your stockings fetish dictate your life? |
Sun, 21 October 2007 20:56 |
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Although not male, I have been enlightened considerably by some of your replies.
Let me make it clear. I don't see anything wrong with wearing stockings nor do I consider it to be a 'fetish'. For me, hosiery is a normal part of life, particularly in work. I don't enjoy wearing tights particularly and my wardrobe is dictated more by the stockings I wear and their length.
It seems odd to me that I am regarded as 'unusual' in this society of ours. I don't mind the unusual tag at all. I just find it sad these days that elegance and formal dressing has gone a bit out of the window.
Mind you, I think I'd have a problem wearing a corset 24/7 or high heels.
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| Re: To what extent does your stockings fetish dictate your life? |
Mon, 22 October 2007 11:59 |
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Hi Mich
Your last post raises some thoughts regarding sexual freedom. You are quite correct to observe that a woman choosing to wear stockings as part of everyday wear is not a fetishist, but would she be considered one if her reasons were rooted in her sexuality? Probably not, whereas a man who prefers his partner to wear stockings probably is seen as a fetishist - regardless of whether his preference stems from his ideas about elegance or his libido.
A fetish is defined as any object or nongenital part of the body that causes a habitual erotic response or fixation. Technically, it can apply to either sex, yet I would argue that in Western society, it is seen as a primarily male preserve (along with pornography). This perception restricts individual freedom in two ways:
Firstly, the male is labeled a fetishist regardless of the root of his preference (and this extends to men who like to wear women's clothes for reasons other than sexual ones eg Eddie Izzard).
Secondly, the female's sexuality is denied whenever possible. She needs to be seen as passive, whereas the male is active. So her decision to favour stockings will be seen as one based either on fashion sense or on the sexual preferences of others (partners, admirers) - not her own.
Obviously, it is to be hoped that the vast majority of people on a forum such as this do not subscribe to such views, but I believe they are still firmly entrenched in the minds of the majority. I do not see fetishism as a bad thing, but 2000 years of Christian influence has cast it in that light, and we must not forget that there is only one reason for this - control.
Melmoth
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| Re: To what extent does your stockings fetish dictate your life? |
Tue, 23 October 2007 12:03 |
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| melmoth wrote on Mon, 22 October 2007 11:59 |
......... I do not see fetishism as a bad thing, but 2000 years of Christian influence has cast it in that light, and we must not forget that there is only one reason for this - control.
Melmoth
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That's a very sweeping statement Melmoth and one you would have had the PC brigade jumping all over you for if you'd said 1400 years of Muslim influence. This is not the thread or the forum for a detailed dispute but I'll point out that the Bible says very little about what's not allowed in the bedroom between a married couple and nothing at all that I can recall about fetishism.
Prejudice is a two way street...contrary to popular opinion.
On a sideline, your comment started me thinking what the world would be like today if there had been no Christianity. Personally and avoiding details of my speculation, I think that on balance not many people would like it very much, unless they were A) very rich or B) very powerful (or preferably both of the above).
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| Re: To what extent does your stockings fetish dictate your life? |
Tue, 23 October 2007 13:00 |
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Hi Grandad
Yes, it was a sweeping statement - I am unfortunately prone to them  . To be more explicit, I wasn't so much referring to the Bible as the influence organised religion has had on our sexual freedom. Since the predominant religion in British society has been Christianity I specified that religion, but the comment could extend to others (upon which I am less qualified to comment as this is the society I have lived in).
Regarding your sideline - it's an interesting area of debate that is probably not suited to this forum, so I'm gonna bite my tongue .
Anyway, suffice it to say that I did not intend to offend Christians, nor hijack this interesting thread with side-issues.
Melmoth
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| Re: To what extent does your stockings fetish dictate your life? |
Tue, 23 October 2007 14:07 |
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| Quote |
Secondly, the female's sexuality is denied whenever possible. She needs to be seen as passive, whereas the male is active. So her decision to favour stockings will be seen as one based either on fashion sense or on the sexual preferences of others (partners, admirers) - not her own.
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Melmoth, I agree that this statement might have applied about thirty years ago, before the advent of feminism and the decline of the influence of the Church over certain matters, but it seems to apply less in this century, as women are becoming more confident in their life choices, sexuality and, of course, clothing choices.
You can argue that it is a very generalising statement, yes. Not all people have been influenced by the Church but in areas of the world where the Church is a big influence in behaviour then certain life choices take place. The big one is the use of condoms and promotion of such in countries where Catholicism is a strong influence.
This also applies in areas of the world (such as the Middle East) where the majority religion dictates the wearing of certain clothes in society (women wearing the hijab in muslim countries, for example).
But there is an element of control. It does not come in the form of Christian influence any longer but in society generally. The control influence comes from peer pressure and the media.
I shall give you an example of that control or influence. Every time, a foodstuff such as 'broccoli, goji berries or soya milk' comes up for a mention in the media and its a positive mention, then I find sales of the particular foodstuff mentioned rise to the point of sell-out. It has happened several times and I can only conclude that the media has a lot of influence over our choices - whether we like it or not.
Its also particularly frustrating when you want to buy soya milk because you've run out or broccoli for your Sunday lunch.
From a stockings POV, if a woman wears stockings, and she may wear them because she finds tights horrible and unhealthy or crotchless tights pointless or bare legs too draughtly, then another woman who wears jeans in her workplace or predominantly trousers may point out to her that she's only wearing the stockings to 'pander to the husband/partner/boyfriend's clothing preferences, regardless of whether its true or not. Women are bitchy like this.
From my POV, I tend to adopt my husband's 'and this is relevant to me how?' stance on such matters (usually accompanied by a slightly 'brokers no argument' tone of voice or irritated tone). It works for him.
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| Re: To what extent does your stockings fetish dictate your life? |
Tue, 23 October 2007 18:56 |
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Nice one Melmoth.  Thanks for the clarification.
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| Re: To what extent does your stockings fetish dictate your life? |
Wed, 24 October 2007 12:49 |
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Mich, here are my replies:-
1 I tend to find petite ladies more attractive with a preference for blondes(I hope this does not make me sound too shallow.)
2 I have always found honesty about my like for a stockinged lady to be best,I think whether a woman wears or not most accept that a lot of men like them.I have usually found that if the lady does not wear she finds it amusing that I conform to what is perceived as a usual male stereo type. 
3 It is unreasonable to insist on what clothes She Who Is To Be Obeyed Wears at home she wears what is comfortable and appropriate for what she is doing at the time.
4 She knows exactly what gets me going and uses it to her own advantage and our enjoyment when the mood takes 
5 Yes I do buy her lingerie and nylons she likes it and tells me it makes her feel appreciated and feminine.In fact if I am going to the shops and she is not with me she will quite often ask me to buy some stockings for her for work.
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| Re: To what extent does your stockings fetish dictate your life? |
Thu, 25 October 2007 13:27 |
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1. Female and somewhat age appropriate (ie within a few years older/younger than me)
2. I didn't mention stockings until things had heated up with dating. My wife already had some stockings so after I mentioned my interest on a Thursday, that was pretty much the icing on the cake, and I didn't try to date other women almost instantly after our next date (a Saturday). I went on solo holiday the following Thursday to visit a friend and didn't even try to pull that whole holiday.
3. I've definitely sked for stockings to be worn in the bedroom or wherever, but not in the general home facility if we're just TIVOing and eating at home. I could care less about high heels to go with them and I'm perfectly happy with flats or other comfortable shoes. My wife doesn't like high heels but feels that they need to be worn with stockings, and she's not a stockings fan. I definitely never insist on stockings being worn because that just isn't nice. And to paraphrase Scooter, it's nice to be important but it's more important to be nice
4. I'm turned on with or without stockings; granted stockings add an extra level of sensation. I have made mentions about stockings in the bedroom of course, but I don't need them per se. I just love them the way I love yummy foods and certain songs by Steps and certain telly shows and general kicking back.
5. I've always bought stockings and suspender belts (and holdups) for my wife/partner. I have some female friends who like stockings, but generally their partners/spouses aren't as interested, thus they tend to buy their own hosiery. We all tend to want what we aren't always able to have, or we have what our partner isn't necessarily interested in having - one of my best friends told me that her husband sometimes watches payperview large breast porn, whereas I'd be more interested in stockings porn but I can't see myself buying it from the cable company since they probably don't even offer it and you know it's not going to be good anyways
x
Mike
| Mich wrote on Sat, 20 October 2007 14:24 |
This got me thinking, after National Stockings Day, that those with a stockings 'fetish' must have some problems when living in society today, compared with the 1950s when stockings were around just about everywhere and women did not wear the casual attire they adopt now.
So I'm asking, to what extent does your stockings fetish dictate the following:
1. What you go for in a partner.
2. Are you upfront about it - do you say to women you date - 'I love stockings and suspenders - will you wear them for me if we continue to see each other?'
3. Do you insist that your wife/partner wears stockings at home with high heels even although she would prefer more casual attire?
4. Do you make a big deal about it in the bedroom, do you insist to your partner/wife that she wears the stockings so that you are turned on?
5. And finally, do you buy the stockings and suspender belts for her to wear?
I'd be curious to hear about some experiences.
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| Re: To what extent does your stockings fetish dictate your life? |
Thu, 25 October 2007 14:00 |
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Forgot to mention about my female preference, but I prefer that she have a full head and body that are connected to each other. Not so interested in headless bodies in a topless bar any longer
x
Mike
[Updated on: Thu, 25 October 2007 14:01]
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