| Finish the story. |
Fri, 21 March 2008 20:10  |
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Finish the story, I sentence at a time.
I'll start.
I was walking down the road the other day when......
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| Re: Finish the story. |
Fri, 21 March 2008 20:22  |
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...I passed a badger munching on...
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| Re: Finish the story. |
Fri, 21 March 2008 20:24 |
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what at first glance appeared to be a......
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| Re: Finish the story. |
Fri, 21 March 2008 20:27 |
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a large and fruity
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| Re: Finish the story. |
Fri, 21 March 2008 20:28 |
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melon. I shouted "Oi you Brock", and he replied.........
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| Re: Finish the story. |
Fri, 21 March 2008 20:31 |
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.....any idea whats behind that locked door over there ?
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| Re: Finish the story. |
Fri, 21 March 2008 20:33 |
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He replied "I think it's the lair of..............
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| Re: Finish the story. |
Fri, 21 March 2008 20:38 |
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The lesser known hairy bottomed ogre that alledgedly is able to.....
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| Re: Finish the story. |
Fri, 21 March 2008 20:52 |
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..eat beavers in one mouthful..
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| Re: Finish the story. |
Fri, 21 March 2008 20:56 |
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And I said, "I eat beavers too"
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| Re: Finish the story. |
Fri, 21 March 2008 20:58 |
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With which the door burst open and the hairy bottomed ogre began to.....
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| Re: Finish the story. |
Fri, 21 March 2008 21:00 |
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..lick his lips..
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| Re: Finish the story. |
Fri, 21 March 2008 21:19 |
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...at the prospect of enjoying another...
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| Re: Finish the story. |
Fri, 21 March 2008 21:23 |
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Spit roasted beaver
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| Re: Finish the story. |
Fri, 21 March 2008 21:37 |
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I ran over to the badger..
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| Re: Finish the story. |
Fri, 21 March 2008 21:58 |
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and I asked him for his name and address
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| Re: Finish the story. |
Sat, 22 March 2008 00:32 |
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and he said that he was temporarily staying up at the Possum Lodge, and as he began reciting the Possum Lodge Creed, I saw...
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| Re: Finish the story. |
Sat, 22 March 2008 01:50 |
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Crap, on the ground, in my walking path just before my shoe made contact.
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| Re: Finish the story. |
Sat, 22 March 2008 03:53 |
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I made ' good use ' of the grass verge nearby, and continued on my way at a pace, leaving the badger in my wake .....
It was only then that I noticed something ahead that made my blood run icy cold
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| Re: Finish the story. |
Sat, 22 March 2008 06:38 |
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A discarded pair of tights..
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| Re: Finish the story. |
Sat, 22 March 2008 09:32 |
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Which was on a robbers face..
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| Re: Finish the story. |
Sat, 22 March 2008 15:07 |
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The sight... gave me an almost unbearable fright, and yet, suddenly I felt thirty again! ...
[Updated on: Sat, 22 March 2008 15:08]
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| Re: Finish the story. |
Sun, 23 March 2008 22:23 |
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Yes! Thirty bank voles waering what could only be described as....
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| Re: Finish the story. |
Mon, 24 March 2008 09:44 |
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They were whale net tights which did not hide his face and straight away I recognised him. It was . . . . .
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| Re: Finish the story. |
Mon, 24 March 2008 11:11 |
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Captain Ahab, who was clearly still obsessing about...
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| Re: Finish the story. |
Mon, 24 March 2008 11:38 |
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Moby's Dick
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| Re: Finish the story. |
Mon, 24 March 2008 11:49 |
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"'E makes a great Spotted Dick does that Moby," quoth Ahab, "but not as good as his...
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| Re: Finish the story. |
Mon, 24 March 2008 11:59 |
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DJ mixing, I love the album GO
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| Re: Finish the story. |
Mon, 24 March 2008 13:24 |
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And when I woke up, I was in the fireplace ! Slept like a log !
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| Re: Finish the story. |
Tue, 25 March 2008 10:47 |
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Although i was slightly charred on one side.
On discovering this i made my way to...
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| Re: Finish the story. |
Wed, 26 March 2008 15:06 |
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the pub. As I approched the bar, I noticed the barmaid was new, but then I recognised her, she was...........
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| Re: Finish the story. |
Wed, 26 March 2008 15:10 |
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from the SHQ male issues forum. 
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| Re: Finish the story. |
Wed, 26 March 2008 16:03 |
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Sally-Anne  is it really you
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| Re: Finish the story. |
Wed, 26 March 2008 16:10 |
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(Oi CHEEKY! I'm a fully functioning woman, thank you!)
She asked if I wanted a large one...
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| Re: Finish the story. |
Wed, 26 March 2008 16:44 |
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I know!
yes please came the answer 
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| Re: Finish the story. |
Wed, 26 March 2008 17:26 |
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"Ooooh, Matron," I heard another patron utter in nasal tones, "how rude!" The comment was made by a weaselly fellow to a robust lady in a navy blue dress. At first I thought he was referring to the barmaid's double entendre, but then realised that...
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| Re: Finish the story. |
Wed, 26 March 2008 20:36 |
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the robust lady in the blue dress was sat astride a bar stool and flashing...
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| Re: Finish the story. |
Thu, 27 March 2008 09:53 |
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put that light out came the shout don't you know there is a war on
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| Re: Finish the story. |
Thu, 27 March 2008 09:57 |
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"There'll be a war in 'ere if you're not careful", said a menacing looking chap from across the bar....
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| Re: Finish the story. |
Thu, 27 March 2008 10:03 |
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we'll have non of that in ere, time gentleman please 
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| Re: Finish the story. |
Fri, 28 March 2008 23:47 |
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So I left the pub and was walking down the road.....
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| Re: Finish the story. |
Sun, 30 March 2008 03:03 |
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... It was March, the month of mud and dirty snow and crusty salt; the snow was melting and what was underneath it was nothing you'd want to look at. People were walking around looking like their dog had just died. It was the March miasma... and everybody was feeling it. Like all the other 'Seasonal Affect' people, I was just starting to wonder if I'd ever see the sunshine again  , when....
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| Re: Finish the story. |
Sun, 30 March 2008 14:20 |
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...I saw her standing there on the street corner, dressed to kill, and with a mind I suspected was similarly inclined. She threw a cursory glance in my direction and...
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| Re: Finish the story. |
Sun, 30 March 2008 14:24 |
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she uttered a sentence that made me shudder, a sentence that I will never forget, a sentence full of meaning. She said '......
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| Re: Finish the story. |
Sun, 30 March 2008 15:07 |
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"listen very carefully, I shall say this only once,"...
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| Re: Finish the story. |
Sun, 30 March 2008 21:08 |
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Supercalifragilisticexpialidohscious...
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| Re: Finish the story. |
Mon, 31 March 2008 16:46 |
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I put my mind to the task and came up with:
"Hi Doc Sous, a sacrificial exile grips tulip."
My name was not Sous, and I was not a doctor, so could only imaging that she had mistaken me for her contact. Still, the Dutch connection was curious...
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| Re: Finish the story. |
Mon, 31 March 2008 18:02 |
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'It's a braugh bricht moonlicht nicht the nicht! Och Aye, Jimmy'
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| Re: Finish the story. |
Tue, 01 April 2008 11:42 |
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She was Scottish I deduced
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| Re: Finish the story. |
Tue, 01 April 2008 15:24 |
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So was the Tulip merely a red herring?
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| Re: Finish the story. |
Tue, 01 April 2008 19:57 |
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'There's something fishy going on.The disguise has fooled no-one' I told her 'That herring looks like a tulip, but I'm no idiot...
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| Re: Finish the story. |
Wed, 02 April 2008 17:18 |
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... I'll to you that much right now!'.... A cold gray March had turned into a bright and sunny April, and all the sleuthing and disguises were beginning to make me feel depressed and broke, and so when the StockingsHQ.com company offered to pay me $1000. per month to try out their new ‘Girardi Luxury Lace Top Stockings’, the latest in Italian luxury, along with their ‘SHQ Fashion Suspense – 6 Strap Black Sheer Floral Lace Front Suspender Belt’... I said sure, why not. I had never donned a full Transvestite disguise before, but who knows, under these circumstances, it might just work with this dame, and besides....
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| Re: Finish the story. |
Wed, 02 April 2008 21:34 |
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I'm tired, thirsty and need of a damn good...
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| Re: Finish the story. |
Wed, 02 April 2008 21:49 |
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Pint of heavy.
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| Re: Finish the story. |
Thu, 10 April 2008 15:12 |
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oil to put in my car to get me home:lol:
[Updated on: Thu, 10 April 2008 15:13]
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| Re: Finish the story. |
Fri, 11 April 2008 12:41 |
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in double quick time, in order to...
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| Re: Finish the story. |
Fri, 11 April 2008 16:03 |
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see whether my wife would greet me at the door wearing only...
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| Re: Finish the story. |
Fri, 11 April 2008 16:07 |
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a pair of purple wellingtons and a leopard skin leotard.
"Darling" she called.."have you taken the"...
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| Re: Finish the story. |
Fri, 11 April 2008 16:19 |
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..."tulip from that Dutch lady?"
"No" I replied, amazed that she knew of that strange encounter. It was only then that I noticed that she was threatening me with a...
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| Re: Finish the story. |
Fri, 11 April 2008 16:39 |
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capsule of cyanide, that she had cleverly secreted into a pineapple upside down cake.
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| Re: Finish the story. |
Fri, 11 April 2008 16:51 |
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"I don't want my cake, and I won't eat it!" I cried, somewhat petulantly.
"It's not for you, my darrrling," she said in a voice that made me think of Marlene Dietrich with a sore throat. "It's for..."
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| Re: Finish the story. |
Sat, 12 April 2008 21:49 |
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Helen ... he looks much better in nylons than you .. so i am leaving you for a life in .....
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